How I remember, some years ago, in the hey-day of Webmonkey they used to send out a most excellent email with some regularity. Occasionally, at the end of the email, they included some strange thing they’d run across or overheard. I just discovered an ancient text file where I had saved some of these because they just made me laugh:
David: “Is this guy ever coming back?”
Josh: [shrug]
David: “He left his tricycle.”
Josh: “Yeah, I’m not sure how he got home.”
— OVERHEARD, ETC. —
Nadav: “Eating avocado is like eating lard, except it’s lard that’s been
sitting in the ground, soaking up pesticides.”
Meghan: “It’s better than eating lard.”
Nadav: “Don’t try to confuse me with your moral ambiguities.”
— OVERHEARD, ETC. —
Merrill: “I have a plastic pig just like that at home, except bigger.”
Evany: “That’s not usually something we say out loud.”
— OVERHEARD, ETC. —
Evany: “Oh my god, they were playing Billy Joel downstairs.”
Jay: “Hey, you’re talking about my hometown hero.”
Evany: “No, it wasn’t that Billy Joel. It was the ‘We Didn’t Start the
Fire’ Billy Joel.”
Jay: “Oh. Well, that’s different.”
Evany: “He really went downhill, huh. It started around the time of
‘Uptown Girl.'”
Josh: “It’s Christie Brinkley. She’s the line. Everything after her
stinks.”
Evany: “She’s the line for a lot of people.”
Josh: “I’d like to cross that line.”
Evany: “Yeah, I’ll bet.”
— OVERHEARD, ETC. —
“So my latest work-related dream was that our office looked pretty much
like our office, except it had been transplanted into a mall (that’s
pretty obvious, now that I think about it), and there were racks of DVDs
that people could look through. Also, my co-workers had become David
Spade, Adam Sandler, Chris Elliott (who was in a wheelchair for some
reason), and Rob Schneider, who we were all congratulating on his new
movie.”
– email from Josh to Evany
As If It Matters 