Monkeys? I hate monkeys.

The murderous rage I feel inside when I see a monkey has been validated by some external news sources lately. For all of you who read the first installment of the Monkey Vignettes and asked me, confused, why do you hate monkeys? They’re evil, I tell you, eeeeevil.

5 Responses to “Monkeys? I hate monkeys.”

  1. Chris Abraham Says:

    My buddy Mark reports from Tanzania about the Baboon:

    He shared that he is on “the main road between Iringa and Dar goes through the Mikumi Nat’l park” and that “baboons are everywhere” and that they’re “either arrogant or lazy. They barely move from the road when you approach with your Rover.”

    I think that proves the point beyond a shadow of the doubt.

  2. Dave Pentecost Says:

    I can see it now. Nicco in a rage as we climb through the ruins of Yaxchilan. Spider monkeys everywhere. And the howlers, the howlers. Aiieee!

    Uh oh.

  3. anne Says:

    I enjoyed the blog story and its mention of the writer’s sister. It seems the monkey is the epitome of the annoying little sibling… Chuckie-style.

  4. Nick Mele Says:

    From “The Onion’s” horoscope:

    Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
    By the time the state finally moves to stop your illegal experiments with inebriated, machine-gun-wielding chimps, they’ll find out it was a self-correcting problem.

    Strangely appropriate, no? Mere coincidence? I think not–someone is on to you, Nicco.

  5. bennegan Says:

    Oh man. I just signed up to this site so I could post here. I was recently traveling in Varanasi, India and I went to something called the ‘monkey temple’ with a friend. Its a Hindu temple but its CRAWLING with monkeys which are, oddly, considered holy there. We were walking down this pathway when, totally unprovoked, a monkey attacked me and scratched at my leg. I had marks but no blood so I felt safe enough to not see a doctor or anything about it, but it freaked me out. Until that point I had only had a manageable intolerance towards monkeys but now I want to see them wiped off the face of the earth. Who needs them?

    Oh yeah. And another monkey stole some unguarded bananas from me in the same week.

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