As If It Matters

I’ve spent the last two days miserably sick, and spent the entirely of today in bed. And it’s amazing what some bedrest will do. Inexplicably, after lying in a sort of misery-haze of flu-cold-sickness for the last 24 hours, I’m suddenly gripped by the irrepressible urge to blog.

Mostly I’ve been captive to that most evil of devices, the television. I’m now more convinced than ever that I should never watch it. I feel like it just sucked away a full day of my life, and ate a little more of my soul. The high point, though, was catching up on my Tivo-ed Daily Show episodes — the last few have been top notch. Last week he had Jim Wallis as a guest in an incredible segment — and then last night, Monday night, he had a fascinating interview with Richard Viguerie. Besides guests, they’ve also had two most excellent pieces of reporting — the last segment on Thursday was about Wal-Mart, and there was also a dangerously pointed story on health insurance. Of course, annoyingly enough their website doesn’t even have a list of guests, so I have no idea how to spell Richard Viguerie’s name. Viguerie, although a right-wing conservative, has got ideas about using alternative media to effect the political process that I plan to crib fairly directly.

In any case, besides the Daily Show, TV has been feasting on my soul and left me feeling fairly deflated. All the mindless zone-out time in front of the sacred box has also led to some strange non-specific revelations — a sort of general wondering about who I am, who I am becoming, and who I am choosing to become. I’ve felt a bit overwhelmed by work lately, a sense that some of the things that are most important to me are being left behind somehow. But I haven’t had any real clarity on the subject, despite devoting some quality time to it, and I’m left with a sense of wistfulness — or maybe loss is a better word — a sense of loss. I glance around, and I can’t figure out what is fueling the whole thing. Maybe it’s just getting older; maybe it’s some of the necessary decisions one makes in one’s life, as some doors open and others close.

Well, enough half-assed arm chair philosophizing. I’ve been sitting up for too long and the cold and flu demons are beginning to reclaim my head, time to return to bed.

This entry was posted on January 26, 2005 at 12:00 am and is filed under Random. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.