My beloved grandmother died about eight weeks ago, and for a few days after her death I had a clearness, a sense of clarity, that seems to frequently elude me. In my short life I’ve had a few people close to me die, and I’ve been near scenes of terrible tragedy, and each time a special sort of clarity descends. It’s as if the world feels the loss and suspends daily life in mourning.
Part of it is that the shock of loss just interrupts your routine, quiets your schedule. It’s also about memory: dwelling on my grandmother’s long life, it’s only natural to turn to my own. I’ve been wrestling with the direction I want my future to take – my glorious future! – and it’s exciting and terrifying. There are so many exciting things to do and incredible projects to work on, every day brings more opportunity. That’s where it gets terrifying: I can’t (despite my enormous appetite) do everything. So I’ve got to make choices. One choice I made a while back was, despite all the madness of my initial interest in McCain’s presidential run, to stay clear of presidential politics and continue to build the company that I helped to found and that I love so very much.
And who knows what the future will bring? I’ve been thinking a lot lately about purpose – about how real power is derived from knowing your purpose. So now I’m doing the hard work of figuring out my life – and trying to enjoy it while I’m at it…
As If It Matters 
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